Over the past several days throughout the holidays, I’ve been congratulated over and over again about finally getting a new job. I don’t start until after the new year, and I still have to schedule the drug test–however, it is a new job.
I will be working for a call center for less pay, and potentially less hours than I had with my previous employer. It will still work out to be, technically, more than I am making on unemployment. Whatever extra I will be making will be going into my car to get me back and forth from the position.
I should be ecstatic. Everyone keeps reminding me how lucky I am, and that I should be happy. I just felt like it was a bit of an inevitability. I am trying very hard to be pleased by these turn of events and focusing o9n the positive aspects of the position. The newness of the work is appealing, as if the fact that I won’t be directly selling anything in the high pressure conditions I was before. I won’t be working for a struggling branch of a company anymore, nor will I be working for a company looking to maximize every sale. Instead, I will be working for a company that works with customers already sold, and who have very angry questions about how they are being charged an arm and a leg.
As I said, I am struggling hard to be overjoyed. Still, I am accepting the congratulations, reminding everyone that nothing feels set in stone until I receive my first paycheck.
Increasingly, in my old age, money really does talk, and bullshit does walk. I just don’t have it me anymore to put up with crap for free.
Right now, emotionally, I am racing towards 2011, and I am ready to put 2010 behind me.
I need to work.
The most unfortunate thing about this holiday has been the distraction to my writing. Somewhere, everything went right out of my head between the trip, the flu, and all the other little things trying to catch up from those three weeks of nonsense. My creative drive seemed to be all mixed up in the snot I was blowing out by the gallons a couple weeks ago.
Therefore, the next week will be devoted to re-reading and editing to get my ideas back on track. I’ve got a novel to finish, and short stories to write.